Why Celebrate Sensitivity? Part 3 (Final): A Case for Sensitivity

Intro

Alright, you made it through to the final post of my introductory series on high sensitivity! Woohoo! This post is all about the multitude of reasons to celebrate and empower sensitivity in individuals, in the workplace, and in society at large. I've been having trouble thinking of where to start with this post, because when I think about high sensitivity, empathy, gentleness, I can think of so many areas of life where these qualities are at best overlooked or disadvantaged, and at worst discriminated against and squelched. And I can think of just as many areas of life where these qualities are necessary, productive, and invaluable. So, bear with me as I try to narrow down a huge topic into a palatably short blog post!

Sensitive Superpower

If you've read my first two posts in this series, I hope you have a basic understanding of the benefits of being highly sensitive or having a gentle temperament. Just to jog your memory: Highly Sensitive Persons process things deeply and therefore are especially attuned to the needs of others in their surroundings. Let me take you back a bit in history to understand more about why researchers believe that the highly sensitive trait evolved not just in humans, but several species of animals.

An Evolutionary Advantage

Researchers have hypothesized that high sensitivity in a minority of the population of a particular species is invaluable to the survival of that species. If you think about it, this makes a ton of sense! If every member of the human species heard a rustling bush and ran over to investigate, we all would likely have been mauled by saber toothed tigers a long time ago! Likewise, if every member of the species was just low or moderately sensitive, they would be less likely the notice the movement in the grass on the horizon signaling that a predator is stalking the tribe, or be attuned to the subtle changes in the children's behavior that signals early symptoms of an illness that could take out the whole group, or the slight shift in the sky or weather signaling that everyone should take shelter because there's an impending storm. As a social species, we need low and moderately sensitive individuals who will go out and explore new territories, try new things, and take risks. But we ALSO need individuals who pause and take note. Who observe. Who discover patterns. Who stay back and care for the weak or sick. This is the highly sensitive superpower!

So what does that have to do with modern life? Well, the above traits mean that HSPs have the focus and intuition to work successfully on their own, and the empathy, tact, and collaborative skills to work great in teams as well. Having a finely tuned nervous system means that HSPs can notice subtle changes in things more easily than others. This can be invaluable when managing team dynamics, or in work that requires close attention to detail, among other things! What's more, because of their increased empathy, HSPs can have a gentle flourish to the work that they do, ensuring that all thoughts, feelings, and opinions are accounted for when working with others. Their deep processing means that they can think more globally and readily see the long-term and far off consequences of a particular action that others may be oblivious to. These all seem like great, invaluable qualities that any teacher, boss, or leader would surely want to cultivate, right??

Well...yes and no! Despite the qualities typically associated with high sensitivity being great assets, HSPs often struggle more than others to be recognized and promoted at school and in the workplace. So why is this superpower being overlooked by teachers, bosses, and leaders?

Low-Sensitive Privilege

In her best-selling book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Won't Stop Talking, author Susan Cain talks about what she calls the "Extrovert Ideal." In her research for the book, Cain uncovered a hierarchy of privilege in society (especially American society) in which traits associated with extroverts, such as risk-taking, quick decision-making, and speaking more than listening are seen as preferable to typical introvert traits such as listening intently, careful, but slower decision making; and gentle persuasion. Our culture's vision of a successful business person is one who is loud, dominant, assertive, and gets results and gets them YESTERDAY. We live in a culture that tends to wants quick fixes, takes action and asks questions later, and doesn't really care about the consequences of doing so. As long as it's happening NOW, it doesn't matter if it's happening right. As Cain points out, just look at the stock market crash of the late 2000's as an example of what happens when these ideals are not kept in check.

Now, although being an introvert is not the same thing as being an HSP (it's estimated that approximately 30% of HSPs are extroverts, and not all introverts are highly sensitive), they do share many qualities in common. Careful decision-making, quiet demeanor, active listening, and needing time to consider and re-charge are just some of the traits associated with both introverts and HSPs. Therefore, I believe that Cain's notion of the Extrovert Ideal could be extended to encompass a Low-Sensitive Ideal. Our society is set up in a way that privileges those born with low or moderate sensory processing sensitivity, and disadvantages high sensory processing sensitivity. Our classrooms are becoming larger and larger, and students are increasingly expected to work in large groups, while HSPs do better with time to process and recharge. On top of that, school days are longer, and colleges expect that students engage in multiple extra-curricular activities, while HSPs might excel at one or two particular activity of interest, but need that extra time to recharge after an overwhelming day. At the workplace, it's often the loudest and most well-connected that gets promoted over the quieter, but more dedicated worker. We look at numbers and figures to decide which employee is the most effective, leading us to miss the healthy team dynamics, creativity, and innovation that HSPs so often bring to their workplaces. Because HSPs need time to process and recharge from their quickly overwhelmed nervous systems, they can be misunderstood as lazy or less efficient than their less sensitive coworkers, when in reality although they may not be as quick, you better believe they're more accurate and thorough.

So unfortunately, although HSPs have a lot to bring to the table that is lacking in schools and workplaces across the country, our culture's proclivity for Low-Sensitive traits often leaves HSPs feeling under-valued. Even in my own field of counseling (a field where HSP traits are certainly advantageous), money drives the ship at many clinics and counseling centers. Those practitioners who can get clients in and out in the shortest number of sessions so that more paying clients can be seen, are valued over those who take the time to thoroughly treat their clients for long-term success, but may take more sessions to do so. It's a shame, right?

The World Needs The Sensitive, the Gentle, and the Compassionate.

I argue that today's major challenges and obstacles, from social injustice, to the decline of the environment, and even economic challenges require the skills associated with high sensitivity to be solved. For too long our society has been focused upon fast growth, quick fixes, and harmful power dynamics. The consequences of this imbalance in behavior that privileges low sensitivity and oppresses high sensitivity can be seen in many of the problems we now face.

Environmental Protectors

For our planet, we need individuals who aren't looking for the biggest profit and the quickest way to get harmful energy sources to the masses, but who have an understanding of the complexities of the world ecosystem, and the compassion to recognize the environmental injustice happening throughout the world. We need people with empathy for the other animals with whom we share the planet, and with people from all around the world who are facing the detrimental impacts of climate change more heavily than they might be in their own community. We need people who actually respond to their heartbreak when they see those photos of starving polar bears floating on a dwindling iceberg rather than just scroll on by. We need to celebrate sensitivity.

Meaningful Mentors

For our kids, we need individuals who are patient and kind. We need teachers, counselors, coaches, mentors, and leaders who are empathic in their work with children who are facing anxiety, depression, family issues, and trauma at high rates. We need to raise boys who understand that being gentle and compassionate are more important than being dominant and aggressive, and girls who know they can do everything they ever dreamed of doing to change the world if they so choose. We need gender expansive youth to teach us what it means to live authentically, and break out of the rigid, stifling gender binary. We need kids who are free to be creative and innovative, who use their imaginations and can put their self in someone else's shoes. We need to celebrate sensitivity.

Compassionate Leaders

For each other, we need individuals who will listen. We need bosses and coworkers and family members and politicians who hear people's stories and have hearts open enough to respond. Who believes someone when they say "Me too." Who can put their self in the shoes of individuals who have had different experiences because of their cultural practice, the color of their skin, or who they love. Who have the humility to recognize that they don't know everything but listen intently to try to understand as much as possible. Who will sit in others' pain with them so that they can finally believe that they're not all alone. We need to celebrate sensitivity.

In Conclusion

So, there's your answer! We should celebrate sensitivity, because our oppression of the sensitivity, gentleness, and even compassion have led us to the problems we now face. We certainly have the power to overcome these challenges, but we can't rely on aggressive power any longer, we need the sensitive superpower.

Now notice your own sensitivity, gentleness and compassion (we all have it), and spread it as far as it will reach. Notice sensitivity in others, and thank them for the impact that their open heart has had on your life. By celebrating sensitivity we can balance the scales, and allow everyone's gifts to shine and make the world a safer, healthier, and happier place to be. Thanks for reading!